As we grow, our self-esteem develops, one way or another. In a good and nurturing environment, we will develop a strong sense of self, and become confident and self-sufficient.

When things go wrong in our upbringing, as they invariably do despite the best intentions of our care-givers, we find that we lack confidence, and cannot meet the challenges of everyday life.

I am going to look at what I call the "Self-Esteem Sappers", and examine what we can do in order to grow our sense of self, even as adults.

My list ranges from with the most harsh to the apparently less harsh external conditions, and ends with three situations which are eminently remediable with self-awareness and self-discipline. I will deal with each of these in turn.

1. ABUSE.

2. INSTABILITY OR INSECURITY.

3. ABSENCE OF ONE OR MORE PARENTS.

4. LACK OF POSITIVE FEEDBACK.

5. INCONSISTENCY.

6. INDULGENCE.

7. SELF - ACCEPTANCE.

8. LOW ACHIEVEMENT.

9. PROCRASTINATION.